Ancient thoughts
by Cassidy Kim Cohen
Summary: every Guardian's thoughts just after Cassidy's death


Forgive me

I didn't want to do that. I swear, they forced me to do that. They betrayed me. I swear you, Cassidy, I would never killed you. But you accepted the Heart, my Heart. Do you get it? They stole it from me, they took it away from my hands and put it in yours. I really wanted to talk when I called you, then I saw you… I recognized that look, you know… It was mine when I received the Heart, when I didn't know what I would have done for that power yet. It's him, the Oracle, everything's cause. He hadn't to steal my Heart. Will you forgive me? The others will understand me? My God… I don't want to think at Yan Lin's look either. Will she forgive me? Yan Lin, as kind as you, Cassidy, my dear friend. The White Guards are looking for me. Why the heart is hanging over me? Even if I don't own Kandrakar's jewel no more, it's hanging over me like a heavy stone. Maybe, because my heart is gone with you? Cassidy, my friend, forgive me… Now, you're there, small, pale, lying on the ground, please, forgive me…

Goodbye

Who knows how long have I been here? For a minute, for an eternity? I don't know. I'm lonely here, with the dark and the stars. I hated you, Oracle, with all myself. The last thing I thought was you. I thought it had been you the cause of my death, giving me the Heart. That you could avoid this destiny for me. Then, I thought about you, Nerissa. But, however I hated you, I'll never be able to stop loving you. When you called me I thought you wanted to make it up. You saw me, you smiled on me, but… something changed. You killed me, do you take it into account? But I forgive you Nerissa. Something, more powerful than you, has caused everything. But I know everything happened for everyone's good. Leaving my body, I hadn't regrets so I know I didn't die in vain. And my first thought since I'm here went to you, my friends. I knew I wouldn't have seen you again, but, from here, I'll watch you forever, and I hope that one day I'll be able to speak to you and embrace you once again. And now, goodbye…

Tears

I've just finished to shout. Kadma, determined, goes on with my speech. I had to stop to talk, tears were too many to be kept back. I look at the bunch, but I'm not looking at it, actually. I can see only Cassidy's face. My tears begin to drop on my cheeks, but I'm not doing anything to try to keep them back. My tears are not noticed. Yan Lin looks strict at Kadma. She has been always convinced of Oracle's innocence. She's been always trusting. I'm not so trusting anymore. I bite my lips and look down to the ground. Everyone's eyes look at me and Kadma, but I pretend of nothing. My tears continue to drop, Cassidy, and they'll do that for you. I'll never forget your smile and your innocence. You accepted the Heart of Kandrakar, that jewel that's taken by Yan Lin now. She, trusting like you. See what kind of death was ready for you Cassidy. But I can't stop loving Nerissa. Forgive me, Cassidy, but I just can't. But I want your death not to be in vain. And my tears continue to drop…

The real guilty

I shout against the Oracle. It's him the real guilty. He hadn't to give her the Heart. Now Cassidy is dead and Nerissa will be punished for a crime that could avoid. Yan Lin looks strict at me. I know you trust him, but this doesn't change anything: Cassidy is dead and nobody will keep her back. I don't want to have nothing to do with Kandrakar, I don't want to be a Guardian anymore. The bunch murmurs. Halinor cries. Here, they won't receive us anymore, Halinor. When we'll pass away, we'll go to Cassidy. We'll never come back here, Halinor. But I go on shouting, I don't back out. Because for you, Cassidy, I'll face the dark and the solitude of the death. For you, I'm ready to leave this Universe and everything I have. Because I love you and I won't never let you alone.

A so much big Heart

Oracle, I trust you. I don't know if I'm wrong, or if they're wrong, but I really trust you. If you're the Oracle, there will be a reason, right? If you did so even if you knew the consequences, there must be a reason, something that we, simple humans, can't understand, a bigger project. And you were in it, Cassidy, small brightly star, that shine in the sky, proud and satisfied, and watch us with your wonderful eyes. And you too, Nerissa, young dark star, that will be locked up on the top of a mount. And you, Kadma, fierce raven, anchored to the ground. And you, Halinor, crying creature of fire. And probably me too, young creature that's keeping such a big Heart. But I'll come back here without you, and what will I do? How can I let you in the oblivion?


End file.
